father's day

With Father's Day tomorrow, I've been thinking a lot about the dads in my life. And so, here's a post in honor of some of the finest men I know.


I'll start with my dad...and where to start? I truly have the best dad. Our family verse has been Ephesians 6:10 - Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Dad would remind us of this whenver we were facing a difficult situation - from shouting it as encouragement to Kevin on the ballfield to reciting it when I faced a tough decision. That verse exemplifies who my dad is. He pursues God. He is a leader - not autocratic, but a kind - yet firm - leader. I've always known, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that he loves me and my brother. He deeply loves my mom. He adores his grandchildren. He is such a help to my grandma - not only doing, but listening. Plus he's fun to hang out with and loves to laugh.


And then there's his dad. I miss my grandpa so much. Nearly eight years after his very sudden death, there are moments I still can't believe he's gone. He was a constant presence - the rock of the family. He was wise, patient, kind and so friendly. I remember being amazed by the number of people who came to his visitation. That's the kind of impact he had. We've joked that he's in heaven just enjoying his talks with people. I have fond memories of visiting him at his Farm Bureau office in Falmouth and eating Dum-Dum suckers. Plus there were horse rides, walks to "Harold's" in McBain, countless boat rides and bonfires at Gun Lake - and so much more.


My Grandpa Wagner is very, very special too. We share a love of writing and some of my favorite memories are typing on his typewriter - and later his computer. I wrote a biography of him in fourth or fifth grade, and he came to my class to talk about his job as a sports writer/editor for the Kalamazoo Gazzette. He writes entertaining letters and emails and has fun stories from his college days and his days covering so many sports, from tennis to hockey to the 1968 World Series and the U.S. Open. I also have wonderful memories of time at their Gun Lake cottage (how fun to have both sets of grandparents at Gun Lake) - fishing, boating and playing on the swing set. And at their Pine Lake house, we also fished, boated and enjoyed trips to Dean's in Plainwell for their delicious chocolate sodas. He is someone who cares so deeply for his family, his friends and his neighbors.


My brother Kevin is a fabulous dad. Even though he'll be the dad of three come November, it's still just a little bit strange that my little brother is a dad. But he's always loved kids and I see that in every interaction he has with Gavin and Anne Hope - and Peyton too. He works hard (and does a phenomenal job!), loves God, loves his wife and takes delight in his children. Plus he's fun to hang out with - he's my friend, but he'll always be my "brother bear." :)


And Pete. What a joy to watch Pete and Peyton together. The night before Peyton was born, we were walking the mall and he slipped into Waldenbooks while I rested outside. There, he bought present for Peyton, a book titled You're My I Love You. We didn't know it then, but less than 24 hours later, he'd be holding Peyton in his arms and reading it to him. Peyton loves his daddy - no one can make him laugh harder. They have fun together every Wednesday. Peyton lights up when he hears his daddy's voice. It will be so much fun to watch their relationship develop over the years. One of the things that attracted me to Pete was his love for kids. It is a privilege to parent with him.

Pete is also a "dad" of sorts to the kids he works with every day. Many of them don't have a dad in their life and if they do, it's not a positive relationship. So it's Pete (and the rest of the staff he works with) to model character and integrity, loving these guys at their worst and dishing out healthy doses of the discipline they need. Most of the time, these kids move on from the program and the future is unknown. But Pete is planting seeds and touching these lives for the time they are with him.

Dads are often the butt of jokes, maligned in popular culture as lazy or stupid. But the dads that have touched my life are marked by faith, integrity and strength of character. Everyone you touch - but especially your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren - are blessed to have you as a dad.

and so it begins

This is our summer of major house projects: a new back patio and painting the exterior of the house. The first of those projects started this weekend with the removal of our deck.

We're doing this for a couple of reasons. First, the deck was in rough shape. It hadn't been cared for all that much before we moved in, and with our efforts concentrated on many other house projects, we didn't get much of a chance to care for it either. Plus, we believe we've had some friends living under the deck from time to time, so removing it will hopefully remove them.

Pete spent some time with a hammer and crowbar on Saturday prying off pieces and confirmed that the deck is beyond saving as much of the wood he removed was beginning to rot. Lovely.

Here's a before picture of the deck (taken on the day of our home inspection):

And here's Pete hard at work:

covenant

(more pictures at the bottom of this long post!)

Two weeks ago, we celebrated Peyton's dedication to Christ. Because our church is quite large, dedication ceremonies are private and facilitated by a leader from the church. The ceremony itself is built around a covenant the parents write for their child and commit to before God, the church community, family and friends. Here is the covenant we wrote for Peyton.

Peyton,

Today we stand in front of God and our family in what is called a “Dedication Ceremony.” To dedicate means “to give entirely to” and so this type of ceremony is often where parents give their child to God. That is not what we are here to do today. You already belong to God, you always have been his. We are the ones to whom something has been given. God has given you to us, not as a possession – we do not own you – but as a gift and trust to nurture, guide, and encourage. So today we are here to acknowledge what you are, a gift from God, and to covenant with God and with you to be the parents that He asks us to be and that you deserve.

Parents do not get to choose whether their child will be a boy or a girl, what color eyes or hair they will have, whether they will be healthy, or even whether they will be a parent at all. You were appropriately born on Thanksgiving Day because you have given us so much to be thankful for. In you, God has blessed us with a joyful boy with bright eyes, a ready smile and a personality we discover every day. You are truly a gift and we would not trade you for another. We hope you feel the same way because this is not an arrangement that can be changed. There may be days when we wish it could, like when it seems the only word in your vocabulary is “no,” or when you steal money from your mother’s purse to buy candy, or total two cars in three months. No matter what happens, through good times and bad times, whether near or far away, you will always be our son, we will always be your parents and you will always be loved.

Our hope is that you will grow to be a person who knows God to be his Heavenly Father, who follows Jesus Christ, and who is led by the Holy Spirit. We commit to you that we will be examples of that kind of person. We will show you how God moves and works in you, our family, and our world. We will remind you that Jesus loves you and read the Bible to you and point out where it tells you so. We will teach you the greatest commandment – to love God and love people – and show you how everything else starts there. We will pray for you and with you – teaching you that God hears you and cares about what you have to say. We will follow where God leads, no matter how hard that may be, and we will teach you to hear His voice and let you go where He asks you to go.

We promise to provide you with a home where you will find refuge. We promise to love each other and embarrass you by kissing in front of you. We will live out our marriage vows to the fullest – you will not have to worry whether your parents will stay together or not. Our home will be one where you can feel safe to have emotions and express them and where you will never be told the lie that “real men don’t cry.” We cannot promise that you will never get hurt but when you do get hurt we promise that you will find comfort in us. We don’t promise that we will give you every thing and every toy that you could ever want (we will leave that to your grandparents) but we do promise that you will have everything that you need. We cannot completely shield you from all the violence and greed in this world but we will strive to keep our home a place where you will find and learn peace and contentment.

We believe that God has placed in you the seeds of great and wonderful things, and we pledge to cultivate those things in you to help you become all that you were intended to be. You have value; we never want you to doubt that. We will help you discover your gifts and encourage you to develop them. When the weeds of sin come in to choke your growth, we will discipline you. We will never do it out of anger but always out of the desire to keep you from doing the things that will hold you back.

The trust God has placed in us when He gave you to us is a responsibility we do not take lightly. All this we covenant with you and with God before our family, asking them to hold us accountable. We do not imagine that we will be the perfect parents; neither do we assume that you will be the perfect child. So while we will strive to be your champions, we know we will make mistakes and we will let you down. And while you will be the source of our deepest joy, you may also be the source of our greatest heartaches. Despite our shortcomings, this we know - through God, he who created us and gave us to each other, who sent His Son to save us and show us the way, and who gave us His Spirit to encourage and guide us, through His divine Power we have everything we need.

We love you, Peyton.

Daddy and Mommy

Reading the covenant

Listening to the charge to us from Greg Mutch, one of our community life pastors

We were so blessed to share this day with grandmas and grandmas, great grandma and great grandpa, aunts, uncles and cousins. Thank you for sharing it with us - and supporting our family. And thank you to my cousin Rachel, who made two yummy cheesecakes for our little after party. Check out her baking business at www.cheesecakeibake.blogspot.com

mmmm...yummy!

Peyton recently started eating cereal and we had to capture the moment on camera. He wasn't so sure at first but now he downs it like a champ. He'll be sampling veggies in a few weeks. That promises to be messier and we'll be sure to document the occasion!

And I had to throw this one in for Uncle Kevin.

four months

Peyton's stats as of his four month appointment on Tuesday:

Weight: 15 pounds, 5 ounces

Length: 25 inches

And his latest happenings? He's had one successful roll and is trying to repeat it all the time (in bed, in his swing, on the changing table). He experienced cereal for the first time today (he opened wide for the spoon, but wasn't sure what to do with the cereal once it got in his mouth so most of it ended up on his bib. Mommy needs to add plastic bibs to her Target shopping list!) He's enjoyed his first walk around our neighborhood (thank goodness for a beautiful spring weekend!) and the picture above was taken last weekend before his first trip to Yesterdog (someday he'll appreciate it!)

A few pictures from the last month or so:

Happy boy!

With mommy's cousin Stephanie

Hangin' in my ExerSaucer

Tolerating my mommy taking pictures

the new normal

I've been back at work now for nearly three weeks. And it's been a tough three weeks. We're both so grateful to have the support of family - and wonderful grandmas who give of their time to watch our little boy. But wow - it's hard.

Beyond the fact that I have to leave him each day, our new normal is defined by new logistics. It's amazing how one tiny little person can require so much effort! I try to do as much in the evenings as possible after Peyton goes to bed - pack diaper bag, make my lunch, pre-set the coffee maker, do a little cleaning and pick up. And - oh yeah - try to spend a little time with my husband. Fortunately, I have a fabulous husband who makes dinner every night and is a great dad. And he's learning how to deal with poopy diapers.

I view work differently now. Before Peyton, I worked a lot. In early and out late. Some weekends. But now, if I make it there by 8:00, I'm lucky (some of that has to do with all of the snow we've gotten lately - it takes forever to get anywhere). And I'm out at 5:00. That is made a bit easier by the fact that my job has changed and I can focus solely on writing copy. That's a blessing. But it's also about making better choices with my time.

I'm continuing to search for a part time job, since I do need to continue to work (I wish Wedgwood paid more than the pittance that they do - or that I didn't make as much as I do. Wait - maybe I shouldn't wish that). They are out there - they just need to pay enough. We don't live extravagantly, we don't have significant amounts of consumer debt, but we do need enough to pay our monthly bills and hopefully have a little left over.

Peyton is wonderful and has been easy going about this change in his life. He'll be 3 months old tomorrow, and he's cooing, smiling, grabbing at things - right on with all of those milestones. We'll take lots of 3 month pictures this weekend and I will try to get them posted soon.

changes

So many changes coming at me so fast. This is the last week of my maternity leave. I'm trying hard to stay positive and upbeat, but I'm also trying to be realistic. Next Monday (and the days following) are going to be very difficult, and I just need to be prepared for that.

Big changes at work. As of our new fiscal year (which started yesterday), I'm now on the brand development team. That means new boss, new office and some different responsibilities. It's a move that makes sense given what I do, and I like and know the person I'll be reporting to (our VP of brand development). I've seen my new office - so much more space! And I'll no longer be doing pagination of the catalog. I won't miss that at all - the process was very political and often stressful. It makes much more sense for one of our graphic designers to do it, and that's who is now handling it. Yeah!!

But bigger than those changes is the fact that several of my good friends are no longer employed at FCS. Eight positions were eliminated on Friday in a cost-savings effort (we had a not-so-good 2007 and a bad Christmas). Two of those positions belonged to people I was closest to at work. It's going to be weird not having them there. We haven't had a round of lay-offs like that in several years. That's a good thing, because they used to be a more regular occurence, but it came as quite a surprise. So I'm not the only one dealing with a new reality and lots of changes - and while some of my changes are difficult, their changes are much more so.

Oh - as a continuation of my last post...last night was the broadcast of Mansfield Park on Masterpiece Theatre. It was pretty awful. The basic storyline of the book was there, but that's about it.

a few of my favorite things

I discovered Jane Austen in college. As an English major, I never had to read any of her novels, but I was introduced to her through the lovely BBC production of Pride and Prejudice, which aired on A&E and was taped by my parents. I continue to love this movie, but it was also a gateway to the books, which I love even more. They are some of my favorite things - funny, engrossing stories that are a pleasure to read.

PBS has revamped Masterpiece Theatre and relaunched the program with The Complete Jane Austen (you can learn more about it www.pbs.org/masterpiece).

So far, the dramatizations of Persuasion and Northanger Abbey have been shown. I've read Persuasion (excellent!) and seen a wonderful movie version starring Ciaran Hinds. The PBS version was pretty disappointing. For one thing, it was far too short so the entire story felt hurried. And some fairly important scenes and dialogue was cut, shortened or changed. While I understand the need to do some of that when trying to fit a story lik this into 80 or 90 minutes, there's no need to mess with key scenes - especially the ending, which is beautiful in the book and terrible in this movie version.

I've not read or seen another version of Northanger Abbey, so I enjoyed last night's movie a bit more, though I had the suspicion that it, too, was rushed. I'm going to be reading the book so I'll know for sure.

One of my favorite blogs to visit - especially now that these movies have started - is www.austenblog.com. Fun posts and intelligent discussion of all things Austen.

And since I'm trying to get myself back into work mode, here are a few more of my favorite things. This fall, I had the opportunity to interview two of my favorite artists - Amy Grant and Sara Groves. We had Amy Grant's records when I was little (I still can remember where our Age to Age record would skip when I now listen to the CD) and certain songs bring back memories from various times of my life. I'm a little embarrassed to admit it now, but spring break of my freshman year of high school, my family traveled to Nashville for a few days and we visited as many Amy landmarks as possible (let's just say I have very loving and patient parents. That was pretty much the first time we'd gone anywhere for spring break - and that's how we spent some of it!Not sure how Kevin felt about all of that). While I'm no longer that geeky 15-year-old (well, at least I'm not 15 any more), I was still excited and pretty nervous about talking to her. Plus, I always feel weird interviewing people over the phone - it feels kind of stilted and not like a real conversation. Anyway, you can find the interview here: www.familychristian.com/amygrant

Sara Groves has been a favorite of mine for several years now. I love her music, her songwriting, her heart and her normal-ness. She's just started working with The James Fund, Family's non-profit organization that benefits orphans and widows (www.jamesfund.org) so I'm hoping she'll be in Grand Rapids a little more often. Her new album is fantastic - but all of her albums are! Here's the Sara Groves interview: www.familychristian.com/saragroves

love at first sight

Peyton smiles are the best!

Much to my dismay, my maternity leave is winding down. Only three weeks left. It's gone so incredibly fast. Peyton and I visited work yesterday and it hit me - again - that I have to go back. I really like the people I work with and what I do, but going back is the last thing I want to do. I'm continuing to search for and pray about a part-time job so that I don't have to work full time. It's difficult to describe the ache I feel when I think about not being with him all day. The day he was born, I remember thinking "How is it possible to love someone I've just met this much?"

That thought hit me again last weekend when Pete and I went to see the movie Juno (we actually got out of the house to go on a date!) It's a funny, quirky movie about a 16-year-old girl who gets pregnant and decides to give her baby up for adoption. While it's a very funny movie, there are several very poignant scenes at the end (I won't describe them - don't want to spoil anything if you see the movie) that brought me to tears and all I could think was "I want to hug my baby right now." Wow -those women who give their babies up for adoption are doing such a selfless, beautiful thing. (I'm glad you work for Bethany, Dad!)

This is not meant to be a downer of a post, but I would appreciate prayers as we make this transition and as I search for a job that's more "family-friendly."

five weeks

What an amazing (and busy!) five weeks it's been. It has been a joy to get to know our little boy and to be his parents. Here are some of what's been going on:

• The first night home, we put Peyton in his crib. He hated it, so we brought him in to our room, alternating time between his swing and our chests. That made for long nights, so by the end of his first week at home, we were completely exhausted. At our first visit with the pediatrician, we asked him about this, and he recommended letting Peyton cry it out in his crib. So with great trepidation (on my part), we did it. Both Peyton and I cried, but we made it through and now the crib isn't so bad (though sometimes it takes him a little while to settle down).
  
• We've made it through the first cold. Scary for mom, but it really didn't seem to phase him.


• Peyton generally sleeps 3-4 hours at a time during the night, and eats every 2-3 hours during the day. Nursing that often limits things I could get done and the ability to be away from him, but at this point, it's not such a bad thing. It has forced me to slow down a bit, and I'm able to read more. :)
  
• He is very loved by his grandparent, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins - that's a joy.


• He loves hanging out with daddy and doing the Crickler puzzle on the Washington Post's website.


• We're seeing more and more smiles, especially in the last week or so. Really, I don't think there's anything better than seeing your baby smile at you - especially when he has such cute dimples!


• A baby does change everything about your life, but being a mommy and a daddy is amazing.

Here are some more pictures of our little man:

Daddy cutting the cord on the day Peyton was born.

The day we came home from the hospital.

In front of our Christmas tree.

With cousin Gavin at Grandpa and Grandma Meyering's on Christmas Eve.

Opening presents with Daddy.

With cousins (and future babysitters!) Kitty and Tori.