patience

I think it's safe to say that Pete and I are in a season of learning patience. Or maybe just practicing it, since learning patience strikes me as a lifelong endeavor.

Of course, where we're practicing it the most is in these final weeks and days before our baby arrives. Our visit to the hospital and our five hours of contractions made everything seem so much more imminent. But here we are, still waiting. That's not a bad thing - it's given our son an opportunity to grow and develop like he should. We're much more practically prepared than we were (though there are still a few things we need, and there's still work to be done on the room, but that may be what I do while I'm enjoying 12 weeks off of work). And while I think it's been harder for Pete than it has been for me, there is something so sweet to enjoy in this time of anticipation. I feel good. We get to dream and talk about our baby, and his arrival will bring such unspeakable joy.

We're both practicing patience at work. He's dealing with some difficult staff issues. I'm slowly wrapping things up and attempting to hand them over to the freelancer who will be filling in for me while I'm gone. That process has not been as smooth as I had hoped. She's done the job in the past (about 4 years ago), but it all seems very slow to come back to her. Plus, there are new components to the job she didn't have to deal with before. We've been working together for nearly 2 months and there are things that she still hasn't gained a complete grasp on. I've been trying to figure it out - is it the way I've been training? Have I been too busy to help her fully understand the ins and outs of the job? Or is it her? I have to remind myself that I'm responsible to do my best in training her - and then I can't worry about it once I'm gone.

And then I'm practicing patience as I figure out what's next job-wise. Part time is not an option at this point (though it will be evaluated once I return from maternity leave) - I think that may have to do with the "hunker down" economic mode we always seem to go into during our fourth quarter (one of the joys of working in retail - everything hinges on how successful your Christmas season is). I'm simply at a place where I need to wait and see what God has next, though everything in me wants it figured out right now.

So we wait and hope and pray in the midst of so much that is unknown - at least to us.