love at first sight

Peyton smiles are the best!

Much to my dismay, my maternity leave is winding down. Only three weeks left. It's gone so incredibly fast. Peyton and I visited work yesterday and it hit me - again - that I have to go back. I really like the people I work with and what I do, but going back is the last thing I want to do. I'm continuing to search for and pray about a part-time job so that I don't have to work full time. It's difficult to describe the ache I feel when I think about not being with him all day. The day he was born, I remember thinking "How is it possible to love someone I've just met this much?"

That thought hit me again last weekend when Pete and I went to see the movie Juno (we actually got out of the house to go on a date!) It's a funny, quirky movie about a 16-year-old girl who gets pregnant and decides to give her baby up for adoption. While it's a very funny movie, there are several very poignant scenes at the end (I won't describe them - don't want to spoil anything if you see the movie) that brought me to tears and all I could think was "I want to hug my baby right now." Wow -those women who give their babies up for adoption are doing such a selfless, beautiful thing. (I'm glad you work for Bethany, Dad!)

This is not meant to be a downer of a post, but I would appreciate prayers as we make this transition and as I search for a job that's more "family-friendly."

five weeks

What an amazing (and busy!) five weeks it's been. It has been a joy to get to know our little boy and to be his parents. Here are some of what's been going on:

• The first night home, we put Peyton in his crib. He hated it, so we brought him in to our room, alternating time between his swing and our chests. That made for long nights, so by the end of his first week at home, we were completely exhausted. At our first visit with the pediatrician, we asked him about this, and he recommended letting Peyton cry it out in his crib. So with great trepidation (on my part), we did it. Both Peyton and I cried, but we made it through and now the crib isn't so bad (though sometimes it takes him a little while to settle down).
  
• We've made it through the first cold. Scary for mom, but it really didn't seem to phase him.


• Peyton generally sleeps 3-4 hours at a time during the night, and eats every 2-3 hours during the day. Nursing that often limits things I could get done and the ability to be away from him, but at this point, it's not such a bad thing. It has forced me to slow down a bit, and I'm able to read more. :)
  
• He is very loved by his grandparent, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins - that's a joy.


• He loves hanging out with daddy and doing the Crickler puzzle on the Washington Post's website.


• We're seeing more and more smiles, especially in the last week or so. Really, I don't think there's anything better than seeing your baby smile at you - especially when he has such cute dimples!


• A baby does change everything about your life, but being a mommy and a daddy is amazing.

Here are some more pictures of our little man:

Daddy cutting the cord on the day Peyton was born.

The day we came home from the hospital.

In front of our Christmas tree.

With cousin Gavin at Grandpa and Grandma Meyering's on Christmas Eve.

Opening presents with Daddy.

With cousins (and future babysitters!) Kitty and Tori.

Busy Day Two

Peyton had a couple more visitors today. Sheri (a co-worker of Amy's) came with her 3-year-old Cora but they couldn't see him because he was off recovering from his circumcision. They were able to see him through the window to the nursery. Then Mark (a co-worker of Pete), his wife Amy and their two kids - Luke and Blake also stopped by and saw Peyton through the window to the nursery.

On top of getting snipped, Peyton also got an ultrasound to check on his hydronephrosis (extra fluid in the kidney) and a blood test for rare diseases.

He's feeding well and a little more alert. I don't know what Meyering features to look for (and I'm sure he has some) but I think he looks more and more like an Anderson all the time.

Lots of Love

Peyton had a lot of visitors last night and pretty much slept through the whole thing. Everyone thinks he's cute, but what would you expect with the a parents he has?

His grandma and grandpa Meyering came first and then his Uncle Kevin and Aunt Katie. Cousins Gavin and Anne Hope couldn't come because of sniffles but we eagerly anticipate their chance to meet him.
Grandma and Grandpa Anderson came next followed by Uncle Phil, Aunt Dawn and his cousins: Tori, Kitty, Annie and Henry. Henry got to hold Peyton before his sisters and then, after everybody else got a turn, he wanted another one. He seemed very happy with his new cousin but thought we should give him a different name. He didn't offer any suggestions apart from "not Henry." After a little break, Uncle Paul and Aunt Sarah came to see him.

Everyone commented that he looked a little different than his picture that I already posted and he looks a little different even this morning .

An Extra Reason to Be Thankful

Peyton James Anderson arrived at 11:52 AM today on Thanksgiving day. He is healthy and his mom is doing very well too - for that we are especially thankful.




He is 8 pounds even and 19 inches long.

patience

I think it's safe to say that Pete and I are in a season of learning patience. Or maybe just practicing it, since learning patience strikes me as a lifelong endeavor.

Of course, where we're practicing it the most is in these final weeks and days before our baby arrives. Our visit to the hospital and our five hours of contractions made everything seem so much more imminent. But here we are, still waiting. That's not a bad thing - it's given our son an opportunity to grow and develop like he should. We're much more practically prepared than we were (though there are still a few things we need, and there's still work to be done on the room, but that may be what I do while I'm enjoying 12 weeks off of work). And while I think it's been harder for Pete than it has been for me, there is something so sweet to enjoy in this time of anticipation. I feel good. We get to dream and talk about our baby, and his arrival will bring such unspeakable joy.

We're both practicing patience at work. He's dealing with some difficult staff issues. I'm slowly wrapping things up and attempting to hand them over to the freelancer who will be filling in for me while I'm gone. That process has not been as smooth as I had hoped. She's done the job in the past (about 4 years ago), but it all seems very slow to come back to her. Plus, there are new components to the job she didn't have to deal with before. We've been working together for nearly 2 months and there are things that she still hasn't gained a complete grasp on. I've been trying to figure it out - is it the way I've been training? Have I been too busy to help her fully understand the ins and outs of the job? Or is it her? I have to remind myself that I'm responsible to do my best in training her - and then I can't worry about it once I'm gone.

And then I'm practicing patience as I figure out what's next job-wise. Part time is not an option at this point (though it will be evaluated once I return from maternity leave) - I think that may have to do with the "hunker down" economic mode we always seem to go into during our fourth quarter (one of the joys of working in retail - everything hinges on how successful your Christmas season is). I'm simply at a place where I need to wait and see what God has next, though everything in me wants it figured out right now.

So we wait and hope and pray in the midst of so much that is unknown - at least to us.

trust

Late Friday afternoon, I learned my work-from-home proposal was turned down by our CEO. I left work pretty upset for a number of reasons and not all of them will I go into here. Mostly, I felt the greatest concern about income vs. being the kind of mom I want to be. I was worried, angry, hurt and disappointed and felt that way most of the weekend. It was a struggle to avoid getting caught up in a lot of bitterness. Thankfully, my mom reminded me that this was not the end of the world and that God has something better planned. We're entering a new season of our lives and this is simply an extension of that. More than anything, it's an opportunity to trust God. I'm a planner by nature - I like to know how things are going to go and like to have them mapped out beforehand. This feels like walking into a dark room, but I need to be okay with that. God knows what He's doing.

And then today, the VP over our department (who shared the news with me on Friday) emailed me to tell me that going part time is an option and asked if I'd be interested. There's much to be discussed and this is by no mean a sure thing or necessarily the right thing. It's a step into that darkened room and we're continuing to pray.

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In baby news, we were up for several hours last night keeping track of contractions. They started around 10:30 and finally stopped around 3:00 or 3:30. We called the doctor around 1:15, and he felt they weren't strong enough, so they didn't warrant a trip to the hospital. At our appointment last week, he did feel that I probably wouldn't make it to my due date of the 25th, but it's really anyone's guess. He also wouldn't check me since he was concerned it would "get things started." We'll see what he does this week, now that the baby is, by medical standards, full term. We're so ready to meet our little one.

An Emotional Rollercoaster

...so we waited and Amy did not progress in her labor but was still having regular back pain. With the baby still a week away from being full term the doctor did not want to force labor. At about 1:00 PM they made the decision to send us home and prescribe for Amy some muscle relaxers. The first dose only gave Amy moderate relief but she took her second dose right before bed and woke up free of back pain.

So we don't know when the baby will come but we think he won't wait 29 more days. With Amy having been dilated to 4 cm we wondered how long could a person walk around like that or if it is possible to undilate (there probably is a better word for that.)

It's been quite a ride - from severe muscle spasms to possible kidney stones to beginnings of labor back to muscle spasms and then back to "normal" life. You get your mind wrapped around one "reality" and then it changes.

Stay tuned... we will keep this blog updated with the latest baby news. The hospital has free wi-fi so when the time comes this might be the quickest way to get up-to-date news and maybe even pictures.

Not a Kidney Stone

Amy was due to have the baby on November 25 although we were hoping that it would come a little early. Last night, about 9:30 PM, Amy had what we thought was a muscle spasm in her back. We tried hand massage, warm bath, vibrating massager, stretching... and nothing seemed to work. Finally, we called Amy's doctor for more suggestions. He said that what I was describing sounded a lot like a kidney stone, which he says is common in pregnant women. We came to the hospital and had tests run and were told just before 6:00 AM this morning that Amy does not have a kidney stone but that she is in labor. Most of the nurses and the doctor said that her labor is unusual but it most definitely is labor. So here we wait, expecting that sometime today we will have a little boy - 30 days before he was scheduled to arrive.

8 weeks to go

I'm not sure how well these pictures will show up - these are from our 20-week ultrasound. During this ultrasound, our little one was found to have a little too much fluid in his kidneys. Our doctor was not concerned - he said he sees this frequently and thinks it may be due to the sensitivity of the ultrasound equipment - but it's something to keep an eye on. So we had another ultrasound last week (sorry - no pictures yet - have to find someone at work to scan them for me). Everything is going well and baby is growing just like he should. He still has fluid in his kidneys, though it has decreased from the last ultrasound. We'll find out more in-depth information at our dr. appointment next week.

It's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that he'll be here anywhere between 6 and 10 weeks. I'm feeling more settled about that now than I was even a week or two ago. A lot of that has to do with the fact that work is slowly - very slowly - starting to slow down. It's been an intense summer (which is our Christmas season in marketing) - more intense than most can remember. Everyone is stretched, working 50, 60 or 70 hours a week. I think this last weekend was the first one I haven't worked in I can't remember how long. But we had the first proof of our final Christmas catalog today, the second catalog goes to print later this week and work has begun on January.

The person replacing me while I'm on maternity leave has started, which helps to alleviate some of the stress. It's been a little slow going as she gets up to speed and I try to figure out how to impart all that I do to her. But given at least 6-8 more weeks, I think she'll be great and I can leave my job in her very capable hands.

I've also presented my work from home proposal, and that helps lift some of the stress too. I don't have an answer yet, but the initial response was positive. Working from home will present its own challenges - challenges I'm willing to accept in order to spend the most time possible with our little one.

We'll be posting pictures of baby's room soon!